he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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