i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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