Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
