Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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