i would punch a child for taco bell
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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