vagina is talking i cant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
