Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
