I got chris browned last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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