So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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