Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Enjoy the penises
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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