I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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