I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
