btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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