1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Houston, we have a squirter
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
soo... how was my night?
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