I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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