How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
