I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
