I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
