I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
