Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life is pants optional.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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