Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
