the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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