How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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