We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
