I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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