I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
