i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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