I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
