i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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