you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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