somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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