if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
