My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
