You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
