how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
