No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
