You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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