I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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