i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
