I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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