yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
