i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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