Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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