No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
