For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
