hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize