Sponge bath it is.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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