i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
