Kiss
Puke
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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