Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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