when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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