is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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