i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
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dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
