Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize