if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
