it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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