Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
