Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
