A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
