Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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