For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
