I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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