if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
