the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
