I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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