Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize