remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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