Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
And then he peed in my hair
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