my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
