I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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