where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
