Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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