I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
