did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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