We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
